16-Minute Cure - How to Bounce Back More Quickly as a Soloprenuer

Who deserves to be called the greatest men’s tennis player of all time, Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic, or Roger Federer? The debate rages on, as they do, and what interests me more than that title is a prim little stat that Federer shared during his 2024 Commencement Address at Dartmouth: 54%.

First, let me paint the lines on the court. Of the 1,526 singes matches that Federer played in his career, he won nearly 80%.

Depending on various factors, including the court material and skill of the players, a grand slam match can average anywhere from 181 to 221 points. Of course, not all matches are grand slam, so let’s use the lower number to ballpark the number of individual points Federer played: 181 points times 1,526 matches equals 276,206.

Of the approximately 276,000 points Federer played in his career, he won barely more than half, 54%.

A 2020 TennisAnalytics.net analysis of 2,086 men’s college matches turned up a nearly identical number. The matches averaged 130.8 points, the winner averaged 71 points won, and the loser averaged 59.8. What percentage of 130.8 is 71? 54.2%.

Federer drew this insight from that slim margin of victory:

“Even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play. When you lose every second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. You teach yourself to think, okay, I double-faulted ... it's only a point. Okay, I came to the net, then I got passed again; it's only a point. Even a great shot, an overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN's top 10 playlist. That, too, is just a point.”

He went on to explain why this observation should matter to Dartmouth grads and to you and me:

“And here's why I'm telling you this. When you're playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world, and it is. But when it's behind you, it's behind you. This mindset is really crucial because it frees you to fully commit to the next point and the next point after that, with intensity, clarity, and focus. You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments. That is, to me, the sign of a champion. The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it. You accept it. Cry it out if you need to and force a smile.” (bold mine)

Let’s reframe Federer’s insight with an odd but important question: How good are you at losing?

Or, perhaps a better question to ask, how quickly do you recovery from losses and disappointments?

Jim Loehr is a performance psychologist and author who once worked at the Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy with 240 of the best players in the world. He made a discovery that changed the face of professional tennis. Tennis players play only 30% of a match. The other 70% of the time passes between points. Loehr noticed a high correlation between how players spent that 70%—that is, the 16-second increments of between-point time—and the outcome of the match. The best competitors, meaning, the most consistent winners, had a developed a between-point recovery ritual.

At first, Loehr’s colleagues dismissed his “findings,” but he doubled down on research. Jim’s team started working with players to intentionally adopt a “16-second cure” and clear their minds, calm their emotions (especially anger and frustration), and lower their heart rates between points. By more effectively managing the stresses of competitive tennis, players were able to spend more time in flow and minimize unforced errors.

You can guess what started happening. Players with a deliberate recovery ritual won more points and of course more matches.

Solopreneurship is hard, and some weeks, the “losses” come at you 163.4 miles per hour. That big project you were counting on falls through. Then, a loyal client says they need to cancel their retainer. Then, your laptop goes on the fritz. Then, one of your social posts attracts a troll with nothing better to do than jab at you with a poisoned stick.

It’s during those weeks with the cashflow projections plummeting and the forecast cloudy with a chance of dungballs that our belief in the path we’re on loosens. We compare ourselves to other solopreneurs whose trajectory only ever seems to go up, up, up. They’re soaring in First Class with warm, salted cashews and cool, moistened towels while we’re saying yes to projects with peanuts for a budget just to stay afloat.

That one voice in your head increases in volume: “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this. Maybe I’ve been kidding myself. Maybe I should just go get a full-time job.”

Those no-good-very-bad days and weeks are precisely when you need a deliberate recovery ritual.

Solopreneurs aren’t so different from professional tennis players. If you win 54% of the points, you win the match. Win the days, and you win the months.

How do you lose the day? You lose the hours. How do you lose the hours? A loss makes your mind muddy, your anger and frustration boil over, and your heart hammer faster than a movie machine gun. One loss leads to the next unless you, as Federer recommended, “become a master at overcoming hard moments.”

Of course, this doesn’t happen for most of us automatically. We need a 16-minute cure.

Here are some building blocks you can use:

• Simply acknowledge how you feel.
• Go for a walk.
• Take ten deep breaths.
• Work out.
• Pray or meditate.
• Wait 24 hours before responding to that email. (Better yet, pick up the phone and call them the next day.
• Write a letter to the person who upset you, and explain how his thoughts, words, actions affected you. Use “I think” and “I feel” statements. Do NOT send the letter.
• Open up my “Encouragement & Inspiration” folder in my inbox to remind myself that I do make a positive impact often.
• Focus on the truth. It’s not the end of the world. People have survived much worse. I have survived much worse. Remember that moods pass. You will feel better. And the perpetrator will soon move along and irritate someone else.
• Hug and kiss my kids.
• Do something that doesn’t require any emotional investment. Mow the yard. Clean the kitchen.
• Watch five funny YouTube videos or watch “Happy” on Netflix
• Go see a movie in the middle of the day.
• Put on your “happy playlist” on Spotify.
• Smile some more. Smiling can actually improve your mood.
• Find two people to help. In his book Flourish Martin E.P. Seligman relates this story: “My friend Stephen Post, professor of Medical Humanities at Stony Brook, tells a story about his mother. When he was a young boy, and his mother saw that he was in a bad mood, she would say, ‘Stephen, you are looking piqued. Why don’t you go out and help someone?’ Empirically, Ma Post’s maxim has been put to rigorous test, and we scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we tested.” (page 20 of my edition)

You won’t always win. No one does. So after you lose, take advice from Farnam Street founder Shane Parrish: "Instead of always trying to be your best, ask yourself how to avoid being at your worst.” A 16-minute cure helps you bounce back more quickly and keep losses from compounding.

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